If there was a biography about you, what would the title be? (Repsonse)

Daily writing prompt

If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?

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There will never be a biography about me, and therefore no title, because:

1. I am not interesting.
2. I will never be interesting, even if I was on fire.
3. I have never broken new ground in anything.
4. I am short, dumpy, and weird.
5. I would not look good on the cover of a book anybody would ever care to read even if it was a mandatory seventh grade English assignment.
6. My experience of the world generally includes the word “no”.
7. Danny DaVito would, were such a book ever produced and then turned into a movie, play me. And he’d be the better looking, more interesting of the two of us.

As stated above, there will never, ever be a biography written about me, so shoo.